Funny Tv Show Quotes About American Healthcare
Americans have a long history of poking fun at themselves. Americans are known for their sense of humor.
Whether it's a comedian making a joke about the way we speak or a TV show that pokes fun at our love of guns and pickup trucks, we've always been able to laugh at ourselves.
It's one of the things that makes us unique as a nation.
Here are some funny, witty, and sarcastic quotes from Americans about America and themselves that you can share with others.
Best Funny American Quotes
All people are born alike. Except Republicans and Democrats. ~ Groucho Marx.
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on. ~ Marilyn Monroe.
I do feel more myself in America. I can regress there, and they have roller coaster parks. ~ Alan Rickman.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you over my freedom ringing. ~ Unknown.
In America you can say anything you want, as long as it doesn't have any effect. ~ Paul Goodman.
I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American – you know, you grow. ~ George Carlin.
All great change in America begins at the dinner table. ~ Ronald Reagan.
In America, sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world, it's a fact. ~ Marlene Dietrich.
Famous Funny American Quotes
It's Fourth of July weekend, or, as I call it, Exploding Christmas. ~ Stephen Colbert.
As a New Yorker, I'm someone who lives on an island and looks across to America. ~ Laurie Anderson.
If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it. ~ Stephen Colbert.
March Madnesss…the only place where you hear 'Kansas is advancing.' ~ Bill Maher.
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. ~ George Carlin.
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. ~ Woody Allen.
Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. ~ George Will.
Top Funny American Quotes
We're Americans! Do you know what that means? It means our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. ~ Bill Murray.
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. ~ Dan Rather.
My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love. ~ Yakov Smirnoff.
Ninety-eight per cent of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other two percent have to generate their own sex and violence. ~ Franklin P. Jones.
That's why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. ~ George Carlin.
America's family. We all yell at each other, and it all works out. ~ Louis C.K.
You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning. ~ Jon Stewart.
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. ~ Zsa Gabor.
New Rule: This Valentine's Day, Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what's on the inside only to discover that Democrats are too often soft and gooey and Republicans are mostly nuts. ~ Bill Maher.
We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to shit. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a fucking lactose intolerance?! ~ Chris Rock.
Popular Funny American Quotes
In America, anyone can become President. That's the problem. ~ George Carlin.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. ~ Jackie Mason.
Americans are incredibly impatient. Someone once said that the shortest period of time in America is the time between when the light turns green and when you hear the first horn honk. ~ Jim Rohn.
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. ~ George Carlin.
My fellow Americans, we are and always will be a nation of immigrants. We were strangers once, too. ~ Barack Obama.
In America, one sure sign of success is the presence of an unnecessary waterfall in a person's yard. ~ Demetri Martin.
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them. ~ Lily Tomlin.
Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest! ~ Chris Rock.
So these were the 35 top quotes about Funny American.
Tell me in the comments section, which "Funny American" quotes were your favorite?
If you like these quotes and sayings, then you can also read my other posts on American Pride quotes and Proud to be an American quotes.
You are welcome to share these quotes, sayings and phrases with your friends and family on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, and Pinterest and inspire them to take their life to the next level and achieve success and greatness!
Source: https://www.internetpillar.com/funny-american-quotes/
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